Bob Vossen's story:
1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?
No where; he covers everything you might want to know about Sean's college plans; how he came about them, how he is preparing, what school will be like, and his plans afterward.

2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
Maybe talk to Sean's football coach about what he thinks about his choice of school? The lead is good and grabs attention

3. Does the story contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.
Yes, he describes Sean's whole process of picking a school, then follows up with details afterwards.

4. What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
Only improvement I would suggest is proofreading stuff; spelling errors, etc.

Josh Weinberg's Story:
1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?

2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?

3. Does the story contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.

4. What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.